So, Mother's Day. Not quite the same as Valentine's Day (unless you're Oedipus, I guess) or Hallowe'en? I hadn't realized. I wished several female friends Happy Mother's Day this weekend, and got rebuffed. After the third, What are you talking about, I'm not your mother, I gave up.
Yes, I know you guys aren't my mom. My therapist and I have made real progress.
You see (and now I'm talking to the rest of you, my enormous blog audience; the women I spoke to and emailed yesterday may no longer be reading) I was just wishing a general many happy returns kind of thing. The way I might say, Merry Christmas or Happy Labour Day, or Have a Heckuva Swan-Upping Sunday. I didn't offer my best on Mother's Day to my male friends because the holiday isn't as appropriate to them. It would be like wishing my gentile friends Good Pesach, or saying, Happy Arbour Day to my tree-haters, or Happy Memorial Day to the amnesiacs on my list. (Who are you anyway? they would reply. They always do.)
So the only mom I can congratulate is mine? Okay. I sit corrected. And now I wish I'd made more of a deal about the day to her. Sorry, Mom. I let you down again. I'll have to make it up to you somehow. Sigh. (Hello, doctor? Are you there?)
I don't know what to think about all the hype. Nothing wrong with taking your mom out to brunch or buying her a vegetable. Nothing wrong with making her a card. When I think of the millions of kids in elementary schools all over North America colouring and cutting and pasting and mis-spelling themselves into a frenzy last week, I don't frown. It's cute, really. My favorite kid gifts are the spontaneous ones, though. The handful of limp dandelions. The bag of peanuts brought home casually because everyone knows you like them. In third grade or so (a while ago now) my daughter coloured a picture of a boat sailing to an island where a stick figure with long hair was waiting with her arms out. I lov you mom said the caption. Does it get better?
And now I'm wondering about next week. How specific is the holiday? I guess I'll risk it. I have no queen of my own, but to all you queens out there -- Happy Victoria Day.