Wednesday 16 January 2008

deprived childhood


I'm not going to apologize for the last post. Every now and then I get deep on you guys. What can I say, I'm complex. I may spend most of my time watching comedy or sports, but I have been known to flip to the haunting lyrical movie channel. During the commercial breaks, say.
This one is a quick wtf. Ed brought a friend to dinner last night. When we were clearing away, I apologized for not having any dessert to give them, and this friend said a weird thing. I'm not used to dessert. I never get it at my place, he said.
Of course we all stared. He explained that he had never, in all his fourteen years, had a dessert at home. I wondered if he meant a home-made dessert -- I mean, I'm not much of a baker myself, and am likely to offer my kids or guests something from my mother (who is a heckuva baker, by the way. And if you're reading this, Mom, it's been a while since you've made oatmeal cookies) or the bakeshop down the street. But no. This young man claims never to have had a dessert at home. Not even an Oreo cookie? said Imo, for whom a meal without dessert is like a word without vowels. The boy -- I'll call him Frederico, not that it's his name, but I've always wanted to meet someone named Frederico -- shook his head.
Funny, huh? I know Frederico's mom well -- a wonderful lady, kind, caring, intelligent, generous -- and never suspected her dessertophobic side.
Are you allowed to eat dessert? I asked. I mean, if there was a dessert here, would you eat it?
Frederico nodded. So here's my question. He's coming for dinner again tonight and I don't know what to give him. You might think crocembouche or linzer torte, something astounding and fancy from The French Laundry, but I don't want to move too fast here. It's not fair to push a non-swimmer into the deep end. Frederico's a non-desserter. Maybe we'll start with pudding. Or apple pie. Hell, maybe I'll go out and buy a bag of Oreos.

8 comments:

Marilyn said...

Someday that kid will probably own a bakery.

Richard Scrimger said...

And weigh 300 pounds. (And what'll that do to his soccer game?) Childhood offers such scope for the therapist. RS

Anonymous said...

I'd go with ice cream. Does anyone dislike ice cream? I hope he's not lactose intolerant.

Richard Scrimger said...

I decided on lemon cake. Not many are citrus intolerant. RS

Anonymous said...

Mmmmm. Lemon cake. With icing sugar too...

Dransa

Richard Scrimger said...

Okay, people. Get a grip. It's dessert. Not a cure for cancer. Pretty clear what kind of blogs get responses. Next one will be: how to lose weight eating lemon cake. That should do it
R

Anonymous said...

Huh. I don't serve dessert very often, mostly because it results in a rushed meal where everyone is mysteriously full after 5 bites and don't want to finish their vegetables in anticipation of the treat at the end. They eat more of the healthy food if they aren't obsessed with the sugar at the end. Sometimes I keep it as a surprise and serve it, though. Nothing screams "rebel!" like completely denying a kid something.

Carol

Anonymous said...

What is it about some entries that start a deluge of commentary? I guess dessert is a bit more accessible than Mozambique, though.