Monday, 5 August 2013

injury guilt

I can not exercise.  Not do not wish to exercise.  That is normal, my usual state.  No, I can not exercise.  Even if I wanted to, I could not.  What happened, I fell down some stairs a couple of weeks ago, rather like the guy in the picture, suffered some bent bones, a teeny concussion, and of course caused my loved ones grief and worry.  Now my brain is back to a muted normal (my kids say I have traded up, mentally) and I can sit at a computer and tap away.  But I can not bend over.  Can not pull or push myself up.  Can not run ten miles - or one mile - or a block. 

And so I live a sedentary life, hobbling from my desk to the coffee pot to the dining-room table, and will continue to do so for a few weeks while my ribs and shoulder heal up.

It is as though I have found an extra couple hours in my day.   Time that I used to spend thinking about exercise (not doing any, you understand -- just thinking about it) is now wide open.  A gift from the God of I don't know, what do you want to do?  Last year, last month I would spend an hour thinking, I should go to the YMCA and then pour myself a cup of coffee and read a manuscript instead.  And feel bad.  Today there is no instead.  I can not go not go the YMCA. 

So -- and this is my final thought for today on the subject, something for my therapist if I ever find one -- why do I still feel guilty about not exercising?


Clare said...

ugh, I did this last summer. Mostly injured my pride and my backside, not my head, but it sucks. Hope your recovery goes well. Now that I'm technically not injured any more I'm finding yoga helpful for regaining strength in the muscles that stopped working.

Richard Scrimger said...

But yoga would mess with my head. All that serenity ...

Marilyn said...

Not good. I fell down some concrete stairs a couple of years ago. It hurts!
Didn't see you at Word on the Street this year.